scavenger's LAWS of BUSHWALKING

[north-north-west]

(updated and annotated version, ©May 2009)


1) It is always steeper than it looks from a distance.

2) It is always further than you think it is.

3) It always takes longer than you think it will.

4) a)Never anticipate a summit. (see Laws 1 - 3)
b) . . . or a trackmarker; campsite; water source; track junction; sign; landmark . . .

5) It is always harder going back up than it was going down.

6) It is always harder climbing back down than it was climbing up.

7) If you don't take it, you will want it.
(note Davidavid's lament: The possibility of rain is inversely proportional to the amount of wet-weather gear carried.)

8 ) If you do take it 'just in case', you won't want it.
(note Davidavid's formula: Likelihood of use is inversely proportional to size, weight, expense and fragility of item.)

9) The weather is not your friend.

10) The largest rockfalls/landslides/trees always land on the track.

11) a) Maps don't lie.
b) They do not, however, tell the WHOLE truth.

12) Nothing can stop a truly determined mosquito/horsefly/leech/hut critter.

13) Regardless of what is removed, your pack will increase in weight throughout the walk.

14) a) The second day is always harder.
b) So is the third . . .

15) If there is a short, easy route from point A to point B, and a long, hard route, the track will take the latter.

16) Notwithstanding the above, 'short'cuts aren't.

17) There is no amount of water or mud so insignificant that the clueless will not try to dodge it.
18) There is no such thing as 'enough' chocolate.

PHOTOGRAPHERS' ADDENDA:

19) There is no such thing as 'enough' film/card space/battery power/lenses/photographic equipment.

20) The most interesting/photogenic scenes/events/flora/fauna always occur after you have run out of film/card space/
battery power/light/time . . .

21) Cameras don't bounce . . .

22) . . . or float.

23) A camera takes at least twice as long to cover any given distance.

24) See Law 7

25) See Law 8


Note: Any or all of these Laws may be abrogated at any time. THIS IS ALWAYS TEMPORARY. And you will pay for it later.

Remember: The Bushwalk giveth, and The Bushwalk taketh away.
Blessed be the time of the Bushwalk.

[tasadam]

I saw the title and said out loud to myself, "ah this'll be good".
I was right.

Well done! Keep em coming. (or should I perhaps not be so encouraging ie. Maria et al)

[north-north-west]

It's a work in progress. There needs to be something in there about Tasmania and mud . . .

[ollster]

It's a work in progress. There needs to be something in there about Tasmania and mud . . .

And scrub. OOOOHHH the scrub!

[Ent]

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[Son of a Beach]

Nice one. If you've not seen it already, I think you'll appreciate the Tasmanian South West Simulation which was written in a similar vein.

[Clownfish]

26) It's always just around the corner. The confidence that it's just around the corner is directly proportional to one's responsibility as a group leader.

[johnw]

"scavenger's LAWS of BUSHWALKING" - Love it! You're obviously familiar with most of my trips .

[wello]

The number of false peaks increases as the experience of the gorup decreases.

If there are two peaks and you're not sure of the heighest, it is the one you are not on!

[north-north-west]

If there are two peaks and you're not sure of the highest, it is the one you are not on!

Ooooh, yes. I should have thought of that myself.

[bluewombat]

You do indeed need some Tasmanian corollaries which should include:

Waterproof boots, aren't
4 season tents aren't
Holeproof socks aren't
Tasty trail snacks aren't

Bog is always at least 2cms deeper than the top of your gaiters

bw

[corvus]

When you need it the "orange trowel" always leaves you with a short handle.
c

[north-north-west]

You do indeed need some Tasmanian corollaries which should include:

Waterproof boots, aren't

My latest are. Asolo, made in Romania, beautiful looking leather boots. Almost five weeks of everything from blizzards to thigh deep mud to knee deep creek crossings and my feet stayed dry the whole time. Not only that, they actually FIT!! No sore spots, right from Day 1, they were just perfect. Of course, the company will be out of business when I wear this pair out and need a replacement.
Mind, at somewhere around $500 they'd have to be *&%$#! good . . .

[corvus]

Please explain the "Magic" of keeping water out of your boots (and therefore dry feet) when you are knee deep in a creek
c

[corvus]

Romania is the boot manufacturing country of choice for many quality "Italian" bootmakers now so you can expect good boots to be available for at least 10 years until Romania catches up with the rest of the ECU.
c

[Orion]

I have Asolo boots too. I've found the goretex liners really work. They are well made boots but to my mind nothing exceptional. I have had seams fail on them (stitched back together). And the non-goretex models I've owned in the past were never waterproof for long. I choose Asolo because they are good boots that happen to fit my feet well,

As for waterproof in Tasmania? I was a bit smug about my boots keeping my feet dry... until I stepped into an unexpectedly deep bog. The goretex does nothing if the water comes over the top of the boot. And it takes a long time (as in "never") for the lining to dry in wet weather. At least I still had ONE dry boot at that point. But after a couple more days of stormy conditions my other boot also became wet. Maybe the goretex wasn't working afterall? Or maybe it's just not possible to keep all of your clothing dry when it's raining all the time. Those boots had only seen about 30 days of use at that point. But after a week of rain and mud they looked like they were 30 years old.

I've got an idea. How about a new slogan for the vehicle registration plate?

"Tasmania - The Rainy and Muddy State"

[tasadam]

I've got an idea. How about a new slogan for the vehicle registration plate?

"Tasmania - The Rainy and Muddy State"

Tasmania - The Treeless State
Tasmania - Gunn Law Reform
Pulpmania or Gunnmania
Or perhaps one that fits best of late -
Tasmania - Off The Rails

[Ent]

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[Clownfish]

Remember "WA - Home of the Americas Cup" being changed to "WAS - Home of the Americas Cup"

and "Queensland - The Sunshine State" being "Queensland - The Police State" in the Bjelke-Petersen years?

[slug]

When I was in WA, it stood for 'Wait Awhile'.
When I was in the NT, it stood for 'Not Today, Not Tomorrow'.

Slug

[bluewombat]

I noticed a while back the numberplates in Vic give very mixed messages
There are plates that say "The place to be" and the very next one will say "on the move"
It sounds like the old Clash song, should I stay or should I go now
bw

[Ent]

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[north-north-west]

Please explain the "Magic" of keeping water out of your boots (and therefore dry feet) when you are knee deep in a creek
c

Good gaiters and fast walking. It was never more than four or five steps with each foot.
*shrug*
Mock me if you must, but me and my poor little tootsies lurve them there boots.

[north-north-west]

You do indeed need some Tasmanian corollaries which should include:

Waterproof boots, aren't
4 season tents aren't
Holeproof socks aren't
Tasty trail snacks aren't

Bog is always at least 2cms deeper than the top of your gaiters

bw

I'm thinking of something along the lines of:
The words 'waterproof', 'windproof', weatherproof', 'four season' and 'indestructible' have different meanings in Tasmania.

The bog one goes in unaltered, that's good.

[north-north-west]

I think they might work better with photos:

1) It is always steeper than it looks from a distance.

[north-north-west]

9) The weather is not your friend:

[flyfisher]

Nice shot of a misty Tasman from the top of the Blade ??

FF

[north-north-west]

It was clear blue with just a hint of haze on the horizon - until I reached the top. Then in the space of 5 seconds, the haze turned into a sea mist, right over TI, and spread . . . (expletive deleted) Tasmanian weather!

[Son of a Beach]

Love those shots!

[north-north-west]

Thanks. It's really a matter of finding the appropriate image for each Law. Will probably have to borrow someone else's bog shots, but - being a solo walker when I'm that deep in the muck, the camera doesn't get a look-in.

Law 12) Nothing can stop a truly determined mosquito/horsefly/leech/hut critter.