Before the walk was finished we came up with the following guide to achieving a similar result without having to actually visit the South West, or even leave your own home...
Nik & Marty’s guide to simulating hiking in Tasmania’s South West wilderness in your own home
1. Hang some of your favourite Peter Dombrovskis prints on the walls of your bathroom. Make sure they are properly framed with glass that will fog over ensuring you can’t see them properly.
2. Begin simulation at dusk or dawn or use very subdued lighting with a plethora of nebulizers going to set the mood.
3. Fill the bath with mud.
4. Select the ‘Antarctic Blizzard’ setting on your industrial air conditioning unit, then switch it on, but not before you have carefully positioned the garden hose outlet directly in the blast zone. Adjust the flow of water until you achieve a fine icy mist aimed directly at your face.
5. Turn the cold water only, fully on, in the shower over the bath.
6. Soak your stinkiest clothes in the mud bath, chill them in front of the air conditioner, and then put them on. Follow this up immediately by strapping on the largest, heaviest, wettest pack you can imagine.
7. Climb into the mud bath, under the cold shower, facing the icy spray.
8. Begin stomping and splashing in a random manner. If you are not falling over frequently, try harder!
9. Every now and then, take a wire brush and apply vigourously to the knees and upper thigh areas.
10. Continue until very hungry. Stop and eat your boot.
11. Resume until exhausted. Lie down in bath and sleep.
12. Repeat steps 8 – 11 ad nauseam.
NB: Simulation only begins to reach a level of realism after durations of not less than 7 days.